12 Things You Should Never Say in an Elevator

Elevator people

Conversations in an elevator can be awkward, and sometimes, saying the wrong thing can make it even more uncomfortable. This list pinpoints 12 of the worst things you might say in an elevator, turning a brief ride into an endless one.

1. I Didn't Know You Were Pregnant

Pregnant

"True story: This happened quite a few years ago, I was working for a company, and the offices were in a high-rise building. 5:00 PM, we get into the elevator. There are about 12-15 people.

Mark sees Marta and says: hello Martha, I haven't seen you in a very long time. When are you due? Martha: I am not pregnant. For the entire elevator ride, you could cut the silence with a knife," someone recalls.

2. The Floor Numbers

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One user claims the worst thing to say is the floor numbers with increasing or decreasing levels of excitement and noise. Making for an arduous, ecstatic ride to the penthouse.

3. So, Who Did You Vote For?

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Chatting about who's got your vote or what deity you do or don't believe in can make for an awkward ascent or descent. Elevators are the great equalizers; everyone just wants to get to their floor, not into a debate. Keep the faith and political badges tucked away – your elevator companions will thank you for the peaceful ride.

4. Speaking About Your Diagnosis

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One individual writes that your tuberculosis diagnosis is the worst thing to discuss on a crowded ride. Fake a phone call and ask the doctor, "Are you sure what I have is Tuberculosis?" The crowd will shudder away from you, and I hope the doors open soon.

5. Say Nothing

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Many people suggest the worst behavior in an elevator is standing facing the wall and not speaking a word. Once you enter the elevator, put yourself in the corner and stare, unblinking, at the elevator decorations.

6. I'm Sorry, I Have to Do This

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A jokester writes about a dilemma wherein an elevator guest laments, "I'm sorry, I have to do this," before passing gas. Not only will this disturb others around you, but it will also give you personal space.

7. Did You Hear What Happened Here?

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A delivery driver shares his go-to catchphrase while scaling floors in buildings. "You hear about all the people who died in this elevator?" he asks the others sharing a ride.

8. The Target Is In Here

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To raise tension and scare others around you, dress in a suit, wear one headphone, and blacked-out sunglasses, wait for an uncomfortable moment of silence, and say, "The target is in the elevator right now."

9. Is It True What They Say About the Smiths?

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Elevator rides can feel like a free zone for the latest neighborhood scoop. But asking or spreading rumors about the people living next door can turn your community living into a soap opera scene. Plus, you never know who's behind you—it could be a Smith. So, before dishing the dirt, remember that elevator walls are thin and secrets are thick.

10. This Brings Back Memories

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This one is self-explanatory yet unsettling. "Elevators always remind me of my first victim." Silence will ensue, as well as drawn-out discomfort.

11. Do You Still Have Lice?

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Here's a great way to make the elevator guests scatter like lice. Turn to whoever is next to you and question, "Do you still have lice?" Scratch your head a bit to drive the joke home.

12. When Are You Gonna Tell Your Spouse About Me?

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"True story, my mom and dad were in a crowded elevator while my mom was very obviously pregnant to the point of bursting. She looked at my dad and said, 'When are you going to tell your wife about me?" My parents are happily married; she was pranking him. My dad said it was the longest elevator ride of his life," one remembers.

Source: Reddit.

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